PHOTO: Bravo, Illustration: Dillen Phelps

In Season 9, Denise Richards joined the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with a bang, and by a bang, I mean a happy ending massage. For those of you who don’t watch the show — good for yewww— here’s the backstory:

On a glamping trip, after sipping some tequila, Denise Richards announced that she had arranged for her current husband, Aaron Phypers, to get a happy ending massage. Apparently, he was the only man she had ever been with who had never had one. So she wanted him to have one. They were, as she put it, “on the hunt.”

Groundhog Day (1993) Columbia Pictures

Until this past summer, I had never seen the 1993 comedy, Groundhog Day, directed by Harold Ramis, and starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. I know, right? Where have I been, living under a rock?? Not exactly. I was 5 years old when the film came out, and I was living in my parents’ apartment in Manhattan, where we did not have a TV, so entertainment came in the form of reading quietly, arguing less quietly around the dinner table, and the occasional outing to the Metropolitan Opera House. So, yeah. …

Ever since the pandemic hit, I, like so many people, have been cooking a lot at home. As a result, like so many people, I have gotten really freaking sick of washing dishes. I know that I am a happier and healthier person when I grocery shop and prepare my own food, but, all too often, I am lazy and weak, just a primate with an iPhone, and I make bad decisions that serve me neither financially, nor nutritionally. …


The other day, looking at earrings online, I came across a line of cute little studs — a heart, a key, a star, a skull; that sort of thing. They were quirky, but also sort of fancy, and they were priced as “individual earrings.” When I saw those words, something clicked, and I thought, that’s what I am. I’m an individual earring. I’m cute and quirky and there’s one of me and I’m enough.

Earrings sold separately are usually described as “single.” From a marketing perspective, it’s genius. An individual earring sounds like something unique, to be slipped into a…

Patrick McMullan, via Getty Images

If Ghislaine Maxwell participated in child sexual abuse, she is guilty of crimes that are malum in se — intrinsically evil. But before we turn on her, fangs bared, and mercilessly tear her limb from limb in retribution for her sins, we would do well to remember that vengeance is not the same thing as justice, and Ghislaine Maxwell is not the Bad Guy in this story.

Jeffrey Epstein was a prolific sexual predator, whose last ignominious act was slithering out of accountability, and robbing his survivors of justice. Did he kill himself? I think he did. …

Tessa Rapaczynski

It’s not not a Napoleon Complex.

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